I now use words like amble, stroll, space (not outer but inner). I now observe, stop and stare, follow up my observations, just gently learn. Time is on my side and I try not to waste a moment. I have always been over eager, over enthusiastic, rushing, dashing. Life so full so many parts to attend to, endless servicing this bit and propping up another, accepting parts that were over and either joyfully or sorrowfully watch them disappear. But through all this hustle and bustle, joy and sorrow, unaware of images, feelings, emotions, beliefs, needs, strengths, weaknesses, that were weaving around my inner core. I am more aware of myself as a person than I ever have been in my life. Its as though I have forgiven myself for being a fool, and am trying to concentrate on improving the good bits.
I am now not afraid of the silence but joyfully accept noisy bits when they cross my path.
My silence is full of wonderful memories and fun; of numbing sadness and sorrow; of always going forward; of trying to make the right decisions; of embracing life with all my limitations. So silence is never quiet and I joyfully accept the noise from the hear and now when it crashes in and opens up new possibilities. Because they are all there if you want them enough and I think I do!