‘….the times they are a changing’……

I am sitting and writing this on my own MacBook Pro which (with birthday money from my brother) I bought on eBay.  So quick and easy to write but the actual doing was a trial of endurance, nervous tension and much research.  And it was also quite a buzz.  And had a Happy Ending.  Thank goodness.

And so this year is drawing to an end and I realise I have been blogging for approximately a year.  All started because on sad reflection and facing reality I realised I couldn’t afford to run a car.  Pretty scary actually after having borrowed or owned a car for the last 50 years.   (I keep writing and thinking in BIG numbers when thinking about memories etc.  – I mean 50 years sounds ancient!)  But anyway I have managed fine without a four wheeled friend – my little bus pass allows me the travel that I need or fancy and on the days when I vaguely think ‘now if I had a car……..’ I realise that I have slowly developed a different way of thinking.  What you can’t have you can’t have so get on with it!!! And I do.  But ….  how about a motorbike  …. anything is possible … maybe ….

It hasn’t been an easy year but like most people I just try to enjoy the good moments and scramble through those grey periods .  My wonderful Polytunnel is up and running – the garden is well, mine.  In other words I trim and dig, plant and weed, always enjoying myself and when I stop enjoying myself I stop and read a book,listen to music, cook, knit or blog or browse the extraordinary world wide web.  The weather this summer and autumn has been quite wonderful in fact to hot for me but as I am retired I can retire under my nice shady tree.  Suddenly hot days are no longer a trial.  Cold drink, good book, very nice, thank you.

I have been gently knitting away as the days shortened and have put together a little collection of fingerless gloves.  My wonderful niece Katie Lynn who has  created and developed her business Molten Wonky   (I am trying to add a link here  but ……she is on Facebook and has a website really lovely bright, original fused glass designs )  Anyway she is selling them for me (hopefully!).  And I am excited about it all.  I need this little buzz and so enjoy the designing and making.  So my workroom is feeling much more positive with some sort of structure developing.  Because not only am I knitting but I have started a module with the Open University in Maths.  And my course has started and I am a student!  Now where this journey will take me I have no idea but I know that two opportunities have opened for me to use as I will  and I am strangely nervous and thrilled at the same time………you really are never to old to learn about yourself and your capabilities.  And obviously the background  to all this is littered with tears and doubts, fears and confusion, disappointment and self-pity.  Thank goodness for the kindness of everyday folk and the loving toleration from the special people in our lives (and of course the dog, the cat and 3 chickens!).

This is the first post I’ve written on my wonderful MacBook Pro so I will now try to stick some photos on but time and my patience with my own ineptitude could run out before I manage.  Listen I don’t have time for too much ramblings I have THINGS to do!  Gloves don’t knit themselves and study needs strict attention and with both if you don’t get the details right you miss the ultimate satisfaction.

First snow – early morning – all gone by the evening.

autumn leaves – inspiring

a gaggle of gloves

wonderful sunflower planted by the birds outside the front porch

comparing truths….

its a strange little word Truth because it has so many disguises.  In fact its the most untruthful word there is as it bends and sways, changing form and direction always willing to please whoever is insisting their vision/feeling/direction/words are correct and are in fact, the truth.  Its only recently that this truth has hit me so forceable and I believe it is my age.  I listen to todays politicians with almost horror as I hear the same platitudes, the same great plans and repetitive ideas, the same ‘truths’, the same lies in fact the menu hasn’t changed one jot.  I no longer shout at the radio/television just turn it off or over to something else.  I feel like that because I really have heard it all before but many younger folk are also turning off or over because they don’t believe a word and I just can’t blame them.  Who does actually run this country or any country?  Money begets power and to keep the power you need more money.  So the powerful have always to bend and sway in the name of truth to maintain their position with one eye on their competitors and the other on the general mass who are fed endless garbage through the usual channels (owed and run by the rich and powerful!).  And even when some new events shocks us  (e.g. Hillsborough, bankers , ‘phone hacking,  treatment in Carehomes, police making false statements etce.tc.) we believe ‘well, surely someone must accept or be forced to accept blame for this ‘ but nothing really happens just the usual lot of words (where the word truth appears a lot) and the inevitable enquiry costing thousands to find the ‘truth’.   Yet Charlie & Mary Muggins down the road who are quite prepared to jog along quietly and accept the advice and go along with the ideas are now told their pension will be slashed, their childs education is rubbish, their local hospital is filthy and its pot luck if they find a ‘caring’ nurse, and their jobs are probably on the line or at least their pay will be static for a couple of years, so what truth do they have to face?  I am neither right wing nor left wing in fact as with most people I have a right wing and a left wing  hoping to stay balanced.  For me the only solution is a good, honest dictator and that really is fantasyland but at least I’d know where to aim my rotten eggs.

Phew I don’t really know where that came from.  Maybe its the shame I feel that our society is still going on and on about the same problems which have irked us for the last 40 odd years but we find the money to go to war and interfere with other societies as though we have solved all the problems.  Oh dear, there are so many hidden agendas going  on and I for one just don’t trust those men in suits with their slippery smiles.  Which leaves me a rather cynical OAP.   I do find it very depressing.  So thank goodness for music, and gardening and knitting and OU (I’m just about to start a Mathamatics module) and friends and well, lots of things.  I’m lucky with my tiny grain of sand and accept full responsibility for my problems.  But I really resent what my government is doing with my vote and I have not been very happy and certainly not proud of the politics of this country for many years.  I accept there are many worse regimes (and I expect we sell them weaponry) but I will not believe we can keep on pandering to the few getting very rich and therefore having all the power.  It does not make sense that being good at gathering wealth gives you a right to interfere with the running of society.  There are good men and women out there whose skills and intelligence, visions and imaginative ideas are not tied into making loads of money.  Their ambitions are aimed much higher from promoting and persuading our society to pull together somehow so we all feel part of a great scheme and all matter in its construction and maintenance – I believe they are out there.   But I hope they go out and live a bit of real life before they become politicians because there are some things you cannot explain unless you’ve experienced it.  And I do accept that my truth may not be your truth but as long as they are both honestly held we’ll agree to differ and maybe even sway and bend a bit and find a new truth!