Its 1.16am – I have deliberately gone to bed early – so I can slide gently into a long, deep sleep. But no that wretched Innervoice has decided that ‘we’ need an indepth chat about The Meaning of Life. And of course we will start with my Life. At 1.16am. ‘Now’, reports the Innervoice,’ about this time when you were 5 yrs – I’ve had another good look and feel we should ….’.
‘Just go away’, I mumble, ‘just clear off, shut down or whatever you do.’
‘I am sleeping – I was sleeping and I know if I let you drag me into one of these spirals off endless introspection, I am done for. The brain will engage, the memory will surf and my eyes will twitch and then I am yours until you discard Me and disappear down whatever hole you lurk in. Leaving Me exhausted when I should be fresh and ready for the new day.’ So I shall ignore your entreaties, and tune into Instinct whose advice is ‘Roll over, and stay in Sleep Mode until at least 6.45am’. The advice was sound and I awoke at 7.07am. I then allowed Innervoice a good hour of ramblings.
Both Instinct and Innervoice have served me well over the years. Instinct doesn’t actually discuss anything it sort of shouts at me in a very demanding way. My re-action is to listen then mull over usually quite dramatic ideas. On a few occasions I have just(bravely/riskily) immediately followed Instincts advice. And it has ALWAYS been sound. But at other times I have Innervoice to intervene between immediate re-action and endless, pointless, exhausting procrastination. And my solid rather dull Innervoice is the perfect foil to a slightly wayward Instinct. But I love them both and am endlessly grateful for their care and consideration of Me.
Just wish Innervoice wasn’t a night owl.